"Mommy, I'm being Brainwashed at School!"

Here in Xinjiang we have some foreign teacher friends whose son attends a local Chinese school.  A week ago we overheard one of the most hilarious conversations between this 3rd grade boy and his mother that I have to share.  It went something like this:

Mom: Are you ok, Michael?  You look a little pale.

Son: I'm scared, mom.  I think they are brainwashing me at school!

  (this, of course, alarms his mom)

Mom: What!?  What are they doing to you?

Son:  They're using some sort of machine at school to brainwash all us kids and they forced me against my will to participate.  I didn't have a choice, mom!
   (by this point the mom is getting quite nervous)

Mom:  Can you explain exactly what they did to you?

Son:  Yea.  They held up this laser-brainwasher to my forehead and I heard it beep.

  (After a moment of thought the mom finally solves the riddle)

Mom:  Ha!  Don't worry, Michael.  It's a thermometer.  They're checking your temperature, not melting your brainmass.

Leave it to a third-grade imagination to create a brainwasher out of a thermometer.