We should get paid, that’s what I think.  This being our 6th wedding of the month we’re beginning to see patterns in the way a Chinese wedding is run and one of them always has to do with a foreigner performing on stage.  Sometimes, like today, against our will we become the main entertainment of the wedding, forcing me to ask why the host is getting paid while we are handed a big plate of humiliation.

Since I haven’t been to a Chinese wedding anywhere other than Xinjiang, I can only guess that this fascination with foreigners is restricted to smaller cities and provinces, but I’d love to know if this happens in Beijing and Shanghai as well.  I can actually see it in the eyes of the host when we, the only white faces around, walk in the door to the wedding.  He’s thinking to himself, “Perfect!  This is going to make my job so much easier.  All I have to do is get the foreigners to stand up and perform like a monkey.  The audience will love it.” Like clockwork, about mid-way into the celebration we are asked up to stage with very little option to say “no”.  We could make a scene, but that’s almost more embarrassing because they just don’t stop asking.

Most of the time we can get away with wishing the bride and groom a happy marriage in English, fumbling through a translation in Chinese, and then sitting down.  Other times we don’t get it so easy.  Like today, for instance.

Today, the host decided it would be fun for members of the audience to teach the new couple how to dance, and of course who knows how to dance better than two white folk?  We were cajoled into dancing both solo and as a couple, and even though we tried to show off as many of the salsa moves we could remember from our lives in Costa Rica, I can’t say my part was pretty.

Like I said…we should get paid.