If This Excuse Doesn’t Work…What Does?
Living without the internet for 6 months is definitely an exercise in patience but sometimes the most difficult part was being patient with people who didn’t believe me. Take my credit card company, for instance. Not once in my life have I neglected to pay off my month-end balance in-full…until last September. No access to the internet or phone means no way to pay off a recurring storage shed fee.
When I tried to explain my reasons to the bank during a trip out of the province (where I could get internet and phone), I began to realize that mine might not have been the most bizarre “excuse” they’ve ever heard. The conversation went (somewhat) like this:
Me: I’ve already gone online and paid my balance off, but I’d like to make sure this one late payment isn’t reflected poorly on my credit.
Credit Card Company (CCC): Well Mr. Summers, judging from your statement you didn’t pay your balance on time.
Me: Yes, I know, but there was no way I could. I live in Xinjiang, China and because of the riots last July all communication has been shut down.
CCC: Sir, you could call me like you are doing right now and schedule a payment.
Me: Great idea. Except I can’t make international phone calls.
CCC: You’re calling me now.
Me: Stunning observation, ma’am. I actually had to take a 500-mile trip to leave the province in order to make this call.
CCC: Have you considered setting up our automatic payment program?
Me: That might work…if I had internet access.
CCC: Couldn’t you have gone to a friend’s house or the library to access the internet?
Me: Sure. Except they don’t have internet either. Nobody in the province can access your website. It’s a tragedy, really.
CCC: Ok, sir. I’m going to send this in to our customer service department and they’ll get back to you.
Me: How?
CCC: They can send you an email or call you.
Me: No they can’t. I’m not lying to you – I don’t have internet or international phone call capabilities.
Eventually I told the woman to just send me any information to my home address in the U.S. To their credit (no pun intended) they didn’t file me as delinquent, but they did have this to say in the letter they sent me:
Please be advised that when you are unable to send your payment with the payment remittance slip, please keep in mind the payment methods listed below may be utilized: 1) Pay by phone 2) pay online or 3) use our automatic payment program.
Thank you, bank, for your complete understanding.
LOL. I feel for you. But you don't need internet connection for automatic payment, do you? You set it up while you have the internet connection outside Xinjiang, and then you don't have to worry about it—they'll do the payment automatically without your involvement.
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Very true, but up until that point I had never needed automatic payment. Had I known that the riots would halt my ability to pay my bills on time, I would have quickly signed up for the service.
So the moral of the story is…if you ever plan to travel to Iran, Xinjiang, or Tibet make sure you set up auto-pay for your credit card. Ha!
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Haha…
Great post, Josh!
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Hilarious! I love the logical comments by the credit card lady, then your equally logical response. "You don't understand where I live." FUNNY STUFF MAN.
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At least you didn't get penalized for the credit card company's incompetence. They copied my new address wrong, so I never got my bill. Then they charged me late fees.
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Why didn't you mail it or get a relative or friend to pay it after you mailed a express post to them.
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@Magnus & Erland – thanks to both of you. Usually I'm not a real funny guy, but I'm glad you enjoyed.
@Matthew – ouch. I would be irate if that happened. If it wasn't for the perks of credit cards (those bonus points) I don't think I would even use one.
@Anon – I figured that question would come. First of all, it wasn't a recurring payment that I could expect. It was an instance where I had given an internet phone company permission to charge my card if my balance got below a certain limit. I never knew the payment came.
Also, I would have had a friend or relative pay the bill – for sure – if I had known there was anything to pay. I had no way of knowing without the internet.
In hindsight it seems there are plenty of things I could have done to prevent this but…
…who prepares for such a total communication loss such as this??
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FarWestChina is a website dedicated to opening the door to Xinjiang, China's most mysterious province.
My name is Josh Summers and I have an unexplained passion for this region. Although I now reside in the US, I spent almost 4 years living and traveling in the region and I continue to research the history and stories Xinjiang has to tell. If you're interested there's plenty to read about Xinjiang on this website, or learn about me on my about page.
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