Crazy Chinese Health Notice Answers Lingering Questions
Ever wonder why you went bald? Do you ever find yourself with a decreased vigor for life and can’t explain why? Did you suddenly go deaf without any prior symptoms? How about an unexpected bloated belly or an intense case of diarrhea? If any of these describes you, then I’m happy to say I finally have answers for you.
Yesterday morning I had a lovely little surprise sitting on my desk, a notice from our local health center. I was about to throw it away when I noticed the title that had me instantly hooked:
20 Foods Which Shouldn’t Be Eaten Together
I’d like to translate these twenty food combinations for you, including their purported effects, and in turn I want you to realize that this was not meant to be a joke. These health officials are completely serious. This notice was passed around the city in hopes that people would think twice before serving, let’s say…rabbit meat and celery in the same meal. Apparently, all your guests would walk away bald. I’m doing you a favor here, so you might want to take some notes.
Just in case you think I’m making this up
- Pork + water chestnuts = a stomach ache
- Beef + chestnuts = vomiting
- Lamb meat + watermelon = a decreased vigor for life
- Dog meat + green beans = poisonous to the body
- Rabbit meat + celery = loss of hair
- Chicken + celery = a decreased vigor for life
- Goose meat + chicken eggs = a decreased vigor for life
- Turtle meat + amaranth (a nutritional herb) = poisonous to the body
- Carp + liquorice (not the candy) = poisonous to the body
- Crab + persimmon fruit = diarrhea
- Chicken eggs + saccharin = poisonous to the body, potentially fatal
- Brown sugar + preserved eggs = poisonous to the body
- White wine (白酒) + persimmon = chest pains
- Onions + honey = damaged vision
- Radish + fungus = dermatits (a skin disease)
- Bean curd + honey = makes you deaf
- Potatoes + bananas = (I can’t figure the translation for this one…sorry. Anyone willing to try it out and let me know its effects?)
- Bananas + sweet potato = a bloated belly
- Peanuts + cucumbers = harmful to the body
- Sweet potatoes + persimmon = lithiasis (formation of stones, such as the kidney stone)
So the question remains for me…how much of this should I take to heart? Any ideas?
Update: Thanks to a few commenters and some people on twitter I think that I can now say that #17 should correctly be translated as – “Potatoes + bananas = freckles”. Also, #15 should read “dermatitis”, not “dermatits”…but since it’s been commented on I’ll keep it as is.
Paulaxilai
Josh
Frank
Tachi
ksa
bluepaper
Whenever i have diarrhea, i just take some Diatabs or Imodium tablets and it gives me some relief after a few minutes.*.*
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