The July 4th Incident: Revenge of the Angry Expats

Home » Humor July 9, 2009 3 Comments

I’ve mentioned this story once before on this site but I find it so amusing that I decided to share it one more time in light of America’s Independence Day.  For any person who has lived in China during the Spring Festival you’ll appreciate what these women were trying to do.  Absolutely true story.

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Once upon a time, in a small town in the northern part of Xinjiang there lived two women who were English teachers.  Hardworking, dedicated, and reliable, these women usually stayed under the radar and provided no problems for the school or the local police bureau.  Nobody had taken the time to see that these women were frustrated, and they had spent much time prior to this July 4th planning to exact their revenge.

Remants of exploded Chinese firecrackersThe anger began building earlier that year during the days leading up to and immediately following Spring Festival, also known as the Chinese New Year.  All throughout the country, for anywhere from three to seven days, the deafening sound of Chinese firecrackers (see an example video I posted earlier) reverberate off every wall in the city creating an almost unbearable coffin of noise.  Very few foreigners can live through this experience without complaining even a little or just leaving the country, but these women went a step further.

Pooling their resources they had the foresight to buy boxes full of the few remaining firecrackers in the city and store them away in their apartment for four months.  Forget the fire hazard, this was war.  On the outside these women were the perfect English teachers who had quickly adapted to expat life in China, but their closet spoke differently.

Four months later on July 4th these boxes of firecrackres came out of hiding and were unloaded in the small neighborhood courtyard.  Most of these local Chinese people had no idea today was a special day in America, but they were about to find out.  As lights began to turn off and people drifted to sleep, two matches were lit.

Then the noise began.  Bam! Pop! Crack-crack-cra-cra-crack!!

And it didn’t stop.  Not for 30 minutes, and even then it wasn’t because they ran out of firecrackers! The police had arrived as well as the school officials and practically the entire neighborhood.  Nobody was sleeping at this late hour due to the incredible racket the firecrackers had made.  These women were crazy, they could all agree on this, but what to do with them?

In the end the firecrackers were confiscated and everybody was sent home.  A warning was issued but no action was taken.  The battle may have been lost, but these two women demonstrated a resolve and a bravery not often found in your typical expat in China.  They told China what most of us here only wish we could say:

We hate your noisy firecrackers!  The least you could do is make ‘em look pretty.”

Beautiful July 4th fireworks show

3 Comments

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  • Guest said:

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    [Reply]

  • Sean said:

    Hi,

    May probably want to learn their language and culture before criticizing. I’m hoping u meant this truly in jest n not with the intent of putting down another ‘inferior non-American tradition’.

    I need not remind you that the ‘tradition’ of fireworks and firecrackers in during the spring festival in china was in place long before the Americans massacred the native Indians, invaded and annexed California, massacred millions of civilians in Philippines, took part in imperialist actions in china in the Boxer rebellion and annexed Hawaii etc. So bear in mind what you say and say them respectfully.

    Having said that, there are many things china can learn from the US. The forcible relocation of the natives into ‘reserves’ are useful in the tibetan scenario. Likewise their pretext for wars in the Boxer rebellion is equally useful in the US in the future. Perhaps the Arabs, African Americans and Indians will he invited. Oh and let’s not forget the mexicans. Last I recall, they want revenge for the various wrongs inflicted upon them. The American use of popular media to cover warcrimes in world war 2, being the only country in the world to use nuclear weapons on unarmed civilians. Even north Korea, Iran, Iraq or al qaeda hasn’t done that before.

    Or perhaps we should abandon all the above and proceed on the path towards mutual respect and shared human identity? The choice begins somewhere and I urge Americans to go out there and learn rather than criticize from behind closed doors? The Chinese are doing so and so should we.

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    Josh says:

    Give me a break, Sean!! OF COURSE this story is just for fun. I don’t know a single expat who loves the incessant noise of the firecrackers during Spring Festival.

    There are certain people who want to politicize everything and tell me how insensitive I am on this website. These people don’t have a sense of humor and reveal their own self-serving prejudices in the process.

    Don’t be that person, Sean.

    [Reply]

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