Yesterday marked the 4th year that my wife and I have been married – three of which have been spent here in Xinjiang, China.  While most people insist that “absense makes the heart grow fonder”, I am here to say that nothing teaches you more about your spouse than living in a desert with no other foreigners while working at the same school and seeing each other 13 out of 16 hours you’re awake.  This is a good thing, mind you, not a complaint.

4 years ago yesterday…

While bigger cities in China would have offered us more opportunities for a romantic date, the options in our small city are quite limited.  It forces me to be creative – which I was last year and the year before – but certain events leading up to our anniversary this year kept me too busy to plan.  My wife was most understanding, but oddly one of my co-workers wasn’t.

“Actually, it was a pretty quiet one.  Flowers, a nice dinner and a movie at home.  It was good.” I told her.

She frowned. “Really? That’s boring! Why didn’t you do something great and romantic like the last few years?”

A bit offended by her response I went on the offensive. “Well…I was a bit busy this year! What does your husband do for your anniversary?” I already knew the answer, and although that sounds a bit mean she wasn’t the least bit phased.

“Nothing.  But that’s the Chinese way.  You are Americans and you’re supposed to be romantic.  We like to watch you!” she said as she smiled.

So there you have it.  The romance I try to provide for my marriage, or in the case of this year fail

to provide, affects not only my wife (I hope) but also my Chinese friends who are carefully watching and taking notes what we do.  Oh the pressure! :)

As with every marriage we have our ups and downs, and as much as I love our home here in Xinjiang I must say this: If we can survive 4 years together in the middle of nowhere, I’d say we’re off to a pretty good start.